On Waning Optimism

This morning, I placed my plant on the table near a window that gets the most beautiful southern light. The patch of rectangular light projected onto the wall each day only lasts for a little while, then it leaves. The light knows when to go. 

I had a cup of coffee (Fidalgo Coffee - Organic Breakfast Blend) and some thoughts that just appeared randomly. So, the idea last year was this – we would vote, the most sane and qualified person would be elected as U.S. President, and we could move on with our everyday lives. This did not happen. The White House has been invaded by an endless supply of Diet Coke, McDonald’s and some type of sunless tanning lotion from 2004. There is no end in sight. 

And it seems we have been divided, by ourselves, into two groups. I don’t mean “Republican” or “Democrat” or “Liberal” or “Conservative” and that’s not to say those groups do not exist because they absolutely exist. The two groups I see here in America: There are people that recognize what is taking place here in the U.S. and speak out about it and people that do not and just keep moving on as if nothing is happening. Maybe because it doesn’t affect them directly. Not yet.

This year is very reminiscent of the Covid lockdown of 2020. It’s hard for me to describe but there’s a lot of that vibe happening right now. Disregard for other people’s safety, and futures. And just like the lockdown, the people that are not wealthy, that do not have access to many resources suffer the most. The President was also mocking and picking fights and bullying, remember? It was a relentless time, 2020. 

It’s definitely a 2020 vibe but I cannot place my finger on it exactly. It’s there though. I feel it: A certain dismissiveness that is hostile and once let loose into society reeks havoc on everything and everyone it touches. It’s quietly violent and lingers in the air. It can feel confusing.

I keep trying to have optimism but it's currently a small square piece of batiste floating from “everything will be ok” to “it’s all burning to the ground” and then back to "everything will be ok" and back, again. Nothing feels solid and yet, I can’t go like the light.